Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Why No, Little Old Lady Who Doesn't Know How To Whisper, It's Not French!

Sophie and I went to a funeral today. We went to pay respects to Sophie's Great-Grandma, her father's Grandmother, the woman she was named after (Mary Sophie Ridgway).

I need to give you a little background information on Dustyn, Valerie, and Sophie's father and his family. Can you say DIS-FUNC-TION-AL?

Keith, their father, was born in 1962, when his mother was 15 years old. Even though his mother, Pam, married his 21 year old father, Ray, Keith was not a welcome addition. He was, in his younger years, raised by his grandparents, Mary and Lamar. Pam and Ray had another son, Todd, when Keith was 5; Todd was loved by his mother. When Keith was 15, Pam and Ray divorced. By this time, Pam was ready to live her life, so to speak, so the boys remained living with their father. This is when Keith's downward spiral into drug and alcohol abuse began. Ray allowed his son's to drink; encouraged it, if you will. Keith never went to visit with his mother after the divorce. He always considered Mary to be more of a mother to him than Pam ever was.

(I won't include all the details of the years Keith and I spent together-that is a blog post all it's own. By 2008, we had been apart for 7 years. By this time, I had worked through MY anger and forgiven him for what he did to ME. What he did, and continues to do to my kids is inexcusable.)

Fast forward to February 2008. Lamar passed away. The kids and I had not seen him in years. He was never very friendly when we did see him. I read his obituary in the newspaper. At this time, the kids and I had not heard from their dad in almost a year. I knew that he had been arrested for living in a vacant house and was on probation. I knew that Pam would never try to track him down, and he had a right to know that the man who raised him was gone. I called the probation department and was put in touch with his probation officer. I explained the situation to him, and told him that I knew he couldn't give me his contact information, but I would appreciate it if he would pass along the news. About 45 minutes later, Keith called me at work. I offered to take him to the viewing and funeral since he doesn't drive. He was 45 days sober at his grandfather's funeral.

We all walked into the funeral home together. Mary was sitting in a chair next to her daughter-in-law. The DIL was telling Mary who each person was as they walked up to her. It was obvious that she had Alzheimer's. I reintroduced each of the kids to her, and told her that Sophie was named after her. I believe I saw a hamster wheel in her head start to turn because she had no clue her name was Sophie! But when she saw Keith walk in the door, she jumped up and hugged him. She knew exactly who he was. She spent the rest of the service asking people if Keith had a ride, would someone make sure he had a ride? Pam hugged all over my kids and said she couldn't believe how big they were (kids do tend to grow in 11 years!) After the service I gave Pam every phone number we have so she would be able to get ahold of us if something happened to Mary. She thanked me for that.

I read Mary's obituary in the online newspaper on Monday. She died on Saturday. Such a close knit family my kids have! It was easier to get ahold of Keith this time as I had saved the last number he had called me from. Again, I offered to take him to the funeral. He is no longer working on his sobriety.

Dustyn and Valerie refused to go to the funeral. Dustyn said he didn't want to see his dad. Valerie said she wasn't going if Dustyn wasn't going. I told them this was about showing respect for their great-grandma, Obviously my teenagers have no respect. I can't image why? Sophie was fine with going, this was the woman she got her super-cool name from after all!

Sophie turned 4 about a week before we left her dad. She doesn't remember living with him. She would spend the weekend with him until I realized that it just wasn't safe for her to be there with his friends in and out all the time. She hasn't seen him much in the last 3 or 4 years. When she has seen him, he has not spoken to her. Not. One. Word. She says it doesn't bother her, but I know it does. When we picked up Keith for the funeral, Sophie climbed in the back seat. He got in next to me and started making small talk. He glanced in the back for a second and then he said, "Hey Valerie! How ya doin'?"

What the fuck did he just say??? He seriously thought she was Valerie. Sophie is 12...Valerie is 17. Sophie is my twin...I could probably disown Valerie (tall skinny bitch!) The look on Sophie's face was like she had been slapped. I said, " That's not Valerie." He looked at her again and said, "It's not? Wow, they look so much alike. Sorry, Sophie."

Just exactly what the fuck was I thinking when I was 17???

So we go to the viewing, and of coarse Pam sees us and says, "I lost your number, I couldn't find it anywhere!" Sophie said, "That's OK, my mom is obsessed with reading the obituaries." *Love ya baby girl*

So now for a *giggle giggle*

There were 2 little old ladies sitting behind us while we were waiting for the funeral to start. They were whispering to each other VERY LOUDLY about how funerals were a waste of money. The one lady said she just wanted someone to dig a hole and throw her in. The other lady said she would like to donate her organs. Seriously? Is there a high demand for 85 year old hearts? In her defense, she said she was probably too old to do that. Now here's the real *giggle giggle* point of this part.

Old Lady #1: "Look at her neck! Did you see that?"
Sophie: **shoots snot out her nose holding in a gut busting laugh**
Old Lady #2: "Do you think that's French?"
Old Lady #1: "I'm not sure. I wonder what it means?"
Sophie: type type type type send
My Blackberry: bzzzz
Me: **reads following text from Sophie**
SOPHIE'S TEXT: Those old ladys really need to learn how to text!

No, Little Old Ladies, it's not French, it's Arabic, and it means BITE ME! EMPOWER

So we went to the cemetery after the funeral. It was raining, so we were in the Mausoleum. The pastor read a really cool poem about the dash on headstones between our birth and death dates. I want to find and post it; even Sophie thought it was deep. As we were leaving, Pam said she appreciated that we came. I told her of coarse we did, after all I have her namesake. Pam looked dead at Sophie and said, "I know, I just can't believe how big you've gotten Valerie."

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?

We got back in the car and I dropped Keith off at a mini-mart (I have no clue why). When he got out of the car he said, "It was good to see you Valerie."

**Bangs head on steering wheel**

Wordless Wednesday

It's T-Ball Time!
photos courtesy of: Owen

Monday, March 23, 2009

Someone From Blackberry...I Need Something To Hold My Balls!

I am uber-cool. I have a Crack Blackberry. I have had said Crack Blackberry for over a year…the longest I have ever owned a single phone! I love this thing…not THIS kind of love…ewwie!!! The kind of love where it is never more than 12 inches from me at all times. It is my lifeline to my kids, my clients, and my superhotandsexy Mr. Wonderful. I’m pretty sure that one day I will have to have it surgically removed from the palm of my hand. I start to panic if I set it down for too long; my heart races, I get all flustered and I start to sweat.

My poor Crack Blackberry is kinda dirty. Cruddy, actually. The keys are all gunked with sand from the summer of Sophie’s softball tournaments, and nail dust from being 2 inches from me while I work. The cool little roller bally thingy was starting to stick, so I decided to clean it. I figured it was just like when a computer mouse needs to be cleaned.


There is a little ring that holds the roller bally thingy in place. I took this off to take out the little roller bally thingy. Easy enough…till I went to put it back together and noticed that the little ring that holds the little roller bally thingy in had clips on it.

Plastic clips.

Which I broke.

Actually, there were 4 clips; I only broke 3. So now the ring that is supposed to hold the little roller bally thingy in is flopping all over the place. Oh. Shit.

So I get on Crack Blackberry’s website and search for roller bally thingy replace roller ball replace. This is what I got:

You searched for: roller ball replace.
Did you mean: rollerball replace

Oh, sorry, my bad! So I click on roller ball replace, and I get this:

You searched for: rollerball replace.
Your search - rollerball replace - did not match any documents. No pages were found containing "rollerball replace".
Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.
If you are looking for answers to your technical questions, please visit the BlackBerry Technical Solution Center.

Seriously? Did Crack Blackberry’s website just send me on a wild goose chase of sorts for something they knew they didn’t carry? Well doesn’t this look like a useless great thing to blog about!? I have had 0 hours of sleep since I woke up on SUNDAY and I am starting to get a wee bit slap-happy, so the screen is starting to go blurry and I keep getting interrupted by text messages and oh great I forgot what I was talking about……

Opinions Are Like @$$H0L35...We All Have One!

So I have insomnia...and I was catching up on my bloggy reading at 3:00 am when I ran across this awesome post on Polka Dots & Pansies. It's some random, but In-Your-Face questions that really made me think. It was interesting to read some of the other bloggers that answered these questions too, like love Maegan and Because Katie Says So and Penny's Thoughts. And just like they did, I will add the following public service announcement:


Feel free to grab the questions and answer them yourself...I love to share!

Would you do crystal meth if it were legalized?
Well, let’s see…do I want to age 10x faster that normal? Do I want my teeth to rot out of my head? Do I want to have oozing sores all over my body?

Naaawwww, I think I’ll skip the crystal meth!

Abortion, for or against?
I would never; couldn’t live with myself if I did.

I am DEFINATLY against 3rd trimester abortion for any reason. Saying that the mother’s life is in danger sounds like bullshit when 24 week gestation babies are surviving with advanced technology. As far as the baby being at risk…like vacuuming their brains out isn’t harmful?!?!?! Even if the babies have medical issues, there are people out there that would LOVE to adopt them if their biological parents don’t want them.

As far as abortion in general is concerned, I do not think it should be used as a form of birth control. Every woman is responsible for her own body. Abortion is a decision that will stay with a woman for the rest of her life. It is not a decision that should be made with out serious thought and counseling. In cases of rape and sexual molestation, where it is out of the female’s control, my view differs somewhat, but it is still something they need to think about seriously before making any decisions.

So, I would guess that makes me against? But I did agree with the mother of that poor 9 year old girl in Brazil who was raped by her step-father and pregnant with twins…I would have made the same decision if she were my daughter. So, I guess that makes me a hypocrite?

Would the country fall if there was a woman president?

Do you believe in the death penalty?
Leviticus 24:19-21
19 "If a man injures his neighbor, just as he has done, so it shall be done to him: 20 fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; just as he has injured a man, so it shall be inflicted on him. 21 "Thus the one who kills an animal shall make it good, but the one who kills a man shall be put to death.

Matthew 5:39
Turn the other cheek.

Ok, so I paraphrased Matthew. No, I do not believe in the death penalty. Housing the same inmates in death row like conditions ie. no physical contact with family, solitary confinement, etc. would probably cost less than the appeals process that goes on for those on death row that wait 20 years before ever being executed. What makes the people flipping the switch or starting the IV any better than the murderer themselves? And while we’re on the subject of starting the IV…why do they wipe the inmate’s arm off with alcohol before they start the IV to administrate the sodium pentothal? Is infection really an issue at this point in time??

Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
I have my CDCA (Chemical Dependency Counseling Assistant). I laugh my ass off at people who preach that marijuana is safe. Have you ever noticed that people who smoke pot on a regular basis are usually immature? A person stops maturing when they stop using drugs. For instance: my oldest 3 children’s father started smoking pot when he was 15. He is 47 now. He stopped smoking pot 2 years ago. He has the same level of maturity as my 18 year old son. People who are regular users also display a lot of the same characteristics as those with bi-polar disorder. It messes with blood pressure, memory, lowers testosterone and gives guys moobs! I could go on and on!

Just say NO! to drugs! (but D.A.R.E. is a proven waste of $$)

Do you believe in God?
Most Definitely! I was raised Catholic, but when I was old enough to go out on my own, I started venturing out in search of something else. I am much happier in the Non-Denominational Christian church.

Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
Again, most definitely! As long as two people are in love and they aren’t related…who are we to judge?

Do you think it's wrong so many Hispanics are moving to the USA?
Hell no! We all came from somewhere to here, unless you are a Native American. They are the ONLY people who can claim the Unites States as their own!

A 12 year old girl has a baby...should she keep it?
I have a 12 year old daughter. She is a really good kid in general; I’m very lucky. BUT…she is a horrible babysitter and she never feeds HER dog. There is no way in hell she could take care of a baby, nor would she want to. If a 12 year old is having sex, and its not because she was taken advantage of, then there are other issues that need to be addressed with this child. There is probably no supervision at home. This could be due to parents who work all the time, or parents who just let their kids run wild. In either scenario, adding a baby to the mix would be disastrous. I would definitely say this child and her family would need to be involved with a social worker and counselor so an informed decision could be made.

So, my answer would be no, she should not keep it herself, and it’s questionable if her parents should raise the child either.

Should the alcohol drinking age be lowered to 18?
Can I get a HELL NO!?!?!?!? Like I said…I have my CDCA!
Should the war in Iraq be called off?
I know why we went there, but do we know why we’re still there? Yes, it’s time for everyone to come home to their families so they can start to heal.

Assisted suicide is you agree?
Is it legal? I think it should be legal. We just discussed this in my Psychology class. Why is it inhumane to let animals suffer, but not people? Why is it ok for a man to have his wife’s feeding tube taken out so she starves to death, but it’s not ok to push a little too much morphine to a terminally ill person so they drift off into eternal sleep a little bit easier? I know I don’t want to suffer, and I don’t want my family to watch me suffer.

Do you believe in spanking your children?
I got my ass beat when I was a kid, and I was still a brat. I spanked my oldest 2, and they don’t listen to me. I never spank the youngest 3...they actually listen to me (sometimes).

Would you burn the American flag for a million dollars?
Duh! I think I’m allowed and it wouldn’t be unpatriotic…I was born on the 4th of July!

A mother is declared innocent after murdering her 5 children in a temporary insanity case...what do you think?
What kind of insanity? Postpartum Psychosis? That is the only temporary form of insanity I could imagine. There are serious mental illnesses that could facilitate someone doing this, but I can’t imagine it would be temporary. I think she should be sentenced to a psychiatric hospital for the rest of her life, where I’m sure, if she regains lucidity, she will hate herself for what she did and find it hard to live with herself. That punishment would be more severe than any the law could hand down.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Ella-Belle Sings A Country Song...

"If you wanna play in Texas, you half to have a fibble in the band."

What's a 'fibble'?

"It's a squirrel."

A 'fibble' is a squirrel?

"Maybe it's a nipple."

Friday, March 20, 2009

Shelli and Tim, Sittin' in a Tree...

So there’s this guy…

And I’m in love with him…

He’s amazing…

We started talking in April of last year. I was pimpin’ myself out placed a personal add on a website to try to catch a date. I thought my pick-up line was humorous, yet to-the-point. “I want a man who will worship me and kiss the ground I walk on. My parents have been married for 40 years; I want that perfection. Or some to go on a date with would be nice too!” I placed this add in very early April. I went on 2 dates. The first guy was nice, but he had no kids. A guy with no kids can’t possible deal withunderstand a girl with 5 kids! Not to mention that he couldn’t wouldn’t keep his hands off me! UGH! The second guy was nice, but I just didn’t feel that ‘connection’ I was looking for. And it didn’t help any that he had the same name as the waste of breathing space my little kid’s dad.
Then I got the email that changed my life. “Your picture drew me to your profile, and your profile drew my interest even more. I would love to chat with you. Tim” And so we started chatting. And chatting. And chatting some more. Then we started texting each other. Every single morning his text was there to wish me a great day, and every single night his text was there to wish me peaceful sleep. We did this every day. For. Three. Months. He asked once if he could call me, but the kids were trying to kill each other and I didn’t want the noise to scare him off I told him it was kinda chaotic at my house at the moment. He said he understood. He never asked to call me again, and I never had the nerve to call him.
I started to resign myself to the fact that Tim and I were going to be internet and texting friends. After all, we had been chatting and texting for three months. Then, at the end of June, I got the most exciting text ever!
“Do you think it’s to soon for me to ask you out on a date?” Seriously? For real? I was squealing and bouncing around in my chair at work, I was so excited! I turned 36 on July 4th, Tim was turning 37 on July 7th; we decided to meet on July 6th. Tim has been the best birthday present I could have ever asked for.
Now, here’s a little FYI about me: I have never been married. Never. Ever. When I think about marriage, I think in terms of forever. I want the perfection my parents have. I know, some people may be thinking ’OMG! She has 5 freaking kids out of wedlock! Slut!’ Yea, Yea, I know, not the best situation to be raising kids. The older 3 kid’s dad used to beg and threaten me to marry him. Yea, ’cause that was gonna last! The 2 younger kid’s dad begged me to marry him too. The thing is, even though I had these heathens beautiful children with these losers men, I could never image spending the rest of my life with either one of them.
Tim is different. He’s kind, and loving, and caring, and sweet, and nurturing, and makes me feel things I have never felt before. My heart aches for him when we’re apart. I feel safe in his arms. When he kisses me on the forehead, I melt. Our kids love to be together, and he is the best father I have ever known. I wish my kids were so lucky to have a father as wonderful as him. He’s strong and handsome and smart and funny and bald but I don’t care because I’m just so head over heals in love with him!!!
I could imagine spending the rest of my life with Tim.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Prayers Needed

Please pray for Angie O'Neill and her 2 boys, Gavin and Grant. They lost their dear husband and father, Brian O'Neill, this morning after a very long and courageous battle with cancer.

You can read about his fight here:

Monday, March 16, 2009

Was It The Feng Shui? Was It Good Karma? Or Was It The Awesomeness Of The Girls We Call “The Philly’s”?

This weekend was the opening tournament for Sophie’s softball season. She is playing with the majority of the same girls as last year; we’ve lost 4 and gained 3...then lost 2 of them and gained 2 more. We seem to have a pretty solid team that interact well, on and off the field.

We trekked 140 miles to Indianapolis, Indiana to compete in this first show of skill. This is Sophie’s 4th year in a row for this tournament. (for those of you who were wondering, yes, it is an indoor complex) Even though the majority of the team has played in this tournament before, for some reason, they were all nervous.

I don’t think it is possible for the girls on the team to have been as nervous as their adoring mothers!

Their first game was Friday night @ 9:40pm. The teams tied 3-3. Sophie "The Beast" knocked in the very first RBI of the season! Admittedly, our team had a bad fielding error that cost the girls 2 runs. The next game was Saturday afternoon @ 12:50pm. We lost; I seem to have blocked that score from my memory. That was their pool play. There were 16 teams-4 pools. Sophie’s team came in 2nd in their pool. On to the 1st elimination game Sunday @ 1:40 A.M. (Yes, you did read that right, it says A.M.)

The girls won their butt crack of dawn game 4-2 in an International Tie Breaker. Sophie hit a double which knocked in the winning runs. You. Go. Sophie. The girls were tired, but psyched. We all went back to the hotel for some much needed sleep. Our next game was Sunday @ 2:40pm.

Now is when the title of the post will start to make sense.

While running the halls of the hotel resting in the lobby of the hotel for their next game, the girls all decided that the reason they lost the one game was because Valerie and her friend had stayed at the hotel and didn’t come to the complex. (They also found out that the 3 runs that were scored in the game that they tied were scored when Valerie and Chelsea went to the bathroom) Valerie and Chelsea were their good luck charms. As a parent, I want Sophie to always play her best, but I did not pay to come all they way to INDY to go home a LOSER! This is where the Feng Shui and the Karma come in.

The other moms and I arranged our seats the way we had during the winning game. No one was allowed to leave the field for any reason, especially Valerie and Chelsea. The game was intense! Another International Tie Breaker, another win for “The Philly’s” 6-3.

We were going to the semi-finals! Game time was 5:00pm. We had to re-arrange our chairs again since other parents had moved into out spots. The little sister of one of the players had been sitting on the floor in front of us during the previous game; we made her come back and sit there again. She said it was making her legs fall asleep. We told her to suck it up for the team. The poor kids was afraid to move; every time she did, her sister would bobble the ball and the other team get a player on base. It was all worth it in the end; the girls won that game 6-0.

The championship game was to start immediately. Our coach asked the officials how much time he was going to have for the team to go to the restroom and to warm up the pitcher. He was told the game would start in 5 minutes. No time to pee. No time to warm up the pitcher. One. Pissed. Off. Coach.

Now, I know our girls are not perfect, but they do have manners. The opposing team, however, did not. We shared a hotel with these little pumpkins all weekend.(I call them pumpkins because of their horrid orange and green uniforms) They were the rudest group of 12-13 year old girls we have ever encountered. They would gather in front of the elevator doors and refuse to move when you said, “Excuse me, please.” They ding, dong, ditched all the hotel patrons. They made nasty comments to our girls every time they saw them in the halls. Where were their parents, you ask? They were just as bad.

Needless to say, we wanted to kick their butts! They were the team that beat us in the pool play. Feng Shui and Karma were very important to this game! The moms got back in their assigned seating position. No one stood up, no one walked away. There was a dime on the floor, no one was allowed to touch it. We didn’t even move our purses! We didn’t cross our legs, and we didn’t prop our feet on empty chairs. We did, however, swear we were all about to have a stroke at one point or another.

And kick their butts we did!

The moms all went out to the field to get our first winning team pictures of the season.

The girls all ran off the field in a mad dash for the restrooms. Bladders were about to explode! We did get our pictures, finally!

I think this was just the start of a great season for our group of girls!

Go Philly’s! Go Sophie #99!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Queen Me

I came home after taking the kids to school and found the most awesome email in my inbox:

TuTu's Bliss has left you a new comment on your post "Baby. Momma. Drama. Maury Style":

Kathy took the grand prize but your insightful two cents earned you the status of official Comment Queen. The badge and award are yours to do with as you please. Share it, hoard it, ignore is all yours!! Congrats and HUGS, Jen

Posted by TuTu's Bliss to I'm Too Busy To Blink...And I Need A Pedicure... at March 11, 2009 6:39 AM

How freakin' excited am I???

I'm so excited that I had to bust out this post to give myself a great big shout out! thank Jen at TuTu's Bliss for bestowing me with this honor:

Maybe I'll reward myself with a pedicure! Do I hear babysitting volunteers?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Baby. Momma. Drama. Maury Style

“I am 1,000% sure that he is the father of my baby!”

Are ya really? It’s been my experience with the Maury show that when a girl says that she is 1,000% that the guy she is having tested is the father of her baby, he ain’t. Seriously, what kind of hood rat woman goes on NATIONAL TELEVISION and admits she enjoys her some train action isn’t sure who her baby-daddy is? I admit, sometimes I feel sorry for the girls who have those douche bags men on that they are/were in a relationship with that are just flat out denying the baby for the sake of rumors.

But what I don’t understand is this: If you know a guy has 15 kids, why the hell are you having sex with him in the first place??? And if Douche Bag he isn’t taking care of the other 15 kids, do you think naming your kid Douche Bag Jr. Junior is going to make baby-daddy want to stay with you??? And did you ever think about the risk your kids will run of future inbreeding???

Scary. Thought.

Now I’m not saying it’s all the fault of the trifling ho bags girls. Men have responsibility in this too. Take, for instance, the case of a STD waiting to happen man named Terrence. He was a guest on Maury 3 times. This is what you call babymommadrama!

It seems Terrence had sex with a weave wearing tramp girl named Forever. That’s pronounced Fo-evah, just so you know. Forever was 1,000% sure that Terrence was the father of her baby girl Eternity. Well there you have it! The hooch girl jinxed herself right there…never say 1,000% on the Maury show! “Terrence, you are NOT the father!” She had 4 other men tested and never did find the father of that poor baby! You would think Terrence would have learned from the first time to either keep his soldier in his pants or wrap the sucker up tight, but oh no, not Terrence! Forever had him back again to see if he was the father of her baby Christopher. Again, “Terrance, you are NOT the father!”

Forever decided to put the search for the fathers of Eternity and Christopher on hold. Why, you ask? Because the poster child for gonorrhea she needed to find out who the father of her baby Cincere was. Of coarse, Terrence was first in line when she spread her legs for the DNA test.

Now, before I give the results that I know you are all dying to know, I feel there is something I need to point out. What the hell is up with her naming her son “Christopher”? Don’t people usually have a theme with their kids names? Like either all traditional, or all starting with the same letter, or all off the wall? Her name’s Fo-evah Forever and her kids are Eternity, Cincere, and Christopher….does she want poor Christopher to be an out-cast?

“Terrance, you are NOT the father!”

Hmmm….imagine that. Here’s some advice for Terrence and Forever:


Thursday, March 5, 2009

Don't Steal From The Community Supply Box!

Owen had to go to the surgery center this morning to have tubes put in his ears. The poor kid has had an ear infection since THANKSGIVING! He wasn’t nervous about the procedure…maybe that was because he had no clue what ‘getting tubes’ meant. All he complained about was that he was hungry, and he was mad because I told him the doctor didn’t want him to eat until after he got his Superman hearing.

Luckily we live close to the surgery center and we didn’t have to wait long to be taken back to pre-op. Owen started getting a little clingy while we were back there. While he was sitting on my lap, I brushed the hair back from his face and looked in his right ear.

It. Was. Blue.

“Owen, why is the inside of your ear blue? Did you stick a marker in it?”

“No, we were using the stamper things at school and I got the stamper stuff on my fingers and I stuck my finger in my ear.” *giggle giggle*

Only my kid! So they wheeled him away and I went out to the waiting room. I bought a coke and sat down to read an article in People about this psychopoorexcuseforamommy. I had barely finished the article when the surgeon came out to tell me Owen was finished. He told me everything went well and gave me a prescription for ear drops. We also had a good laugh about Owen’s blue ear!

I went back to recovery and saw Owen, laying there in the bed he rode back to the surgery room on, holding a stuffed puppy and rubbing his eyes.

“Mommy, he put that green thing on me and it made my eyes hurt and I had to close them.”

“Buddy, you fell asleep when he put the green thing on you.”

“I got on a different bed in that other room. I don’t even know how I got on this bed. I don’t even know how I got in this room! I don’t remember anything! Can we go to Cracker Barrel, I’m hungry?! I want bacon!”

“Yes, we can go to Cracker Barrel.” Owen drank some apple juice and then we put his shoes and coat on and we were on our way. He talked non-stop on the way to the restaurant. He started in on one of his rants about school. He has Sensory Processing Disorder and mild OCD, so there are a lot of things that grate his nerves, and he is all about rules.

“Mommy, Levi pushed me when we were in the hallway and I fell into the wall and it hurted.”

“Did you tell your teacher?”

“NO! We aren’t allowed to tell on people! We’ll get in trouble!”

“Owen, if someone hurts you, you are allowed to tell on them.”

“Well, Ah-leeee-laaahhh, she always bees taking crayons out of the community supply box and she doesn’t put them back and we’re not allowed to do that ‘cause it’s a community supply box and that means it’s for the whole class!”

“Well that’s not very nice.”

“And the new kid, he just goes to the bathroom without even raising his hand! He just gets up and he just goes to the bathroom and we’re supposed to raise our hand like this (raises his fist in the air and turns it back and forth) so the teacher knows we have to go to the bathroom.”

“Well maybe he doesn’t know the rules yet.”

“Can I order bacon and chocolate milk?” bakugan

“You can order whatever you want baby!”

**Owen was watching me write this post. He said, “Hey! I see my name! Why are you writing my name? Can I write ‘bakugan’ on there? “ So that answers the question of why the word ‘bakugan’ is randomly hanging around!**

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Wordless Wednesday


Monday, March 2, 2009

My Eyes Are Bigger Than Your Eyes!



What's more fun that 6 year olds taking goofy pictures of each other?

Taking pictures of their Spongebob-clad butts, of coarse!