Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Rainbow That Leads To My Pot-O-Gold


So, I have this StatCounter thing. I read about other bloggers knowing where their blog traffic comes from and how people find them and what-not, so I decided I needed to have one too.

I have not the slightest clue how to use it...

I was reading one of my favorite blogs the other day, I'm Living Proof That God Has A Sense Of Humor, and was damn near peeing myself over this post (I meant that in the most endearing way, even though I damn near pee myself every time I move!). Helene listed some of her Google search keywords and phrases that led people to her blog, so I thought it might be fun to check out my keyword searches.

Here we go...

1) Hairy Coochie
Ummm....not sure why this was my top search keyword? One has to wonder what exactly this person was trying to gather information on...the pros/cons of sporting a hairy coochie? I can understand why someone would run across some certain Redneck blog when searching for a BLUE HAIRY COOCHIE, but I have never blogged in reference to my nether-regions!

2)Blackberry sand in my rollerball
This sounds like a personal problem!

3)Bobblehead + Guy Fieri
One word...WHY???

4)Karmasutra dust
I have an 18 year old son who can tell you all you need to know about this subject **shudder**

5)Ketchup pedicure
Again...Ummmmm...All I can think of is EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

6)Can Pantene conditioner in your vagina cause a miscarriage
Wow. I can't imagine why anyone would search for this? I know that I bought like 73 bottles of store brand shampoo and conditioner, some being Pantene, but the words 'vagina' and 'miscarriage' were not mentioned in that post. I just have one question...Why the hell, pregnant or not, would anyone put conditioner in their vagina? KY Jelly makes a great lube, so I've heard!

7)OCD psychology magical thinking
Owen is OCD. No amount of 'magical thinking' is going to change that.

8)BLINK YOUR EYES CONSTANTLY
MAYBE IF YOUR EYES STOP BLINKING YOU'LL STOP YELLING!

9)Think, blink, duh
Duh! Why did you even need to search this?

10)Peoples rotten teeth
Yea, this is something I really want to see more of, 'cause I just don't see enough of it in this lovely town in which I live...

11)Humpfh mean
This was obviously one of MY little kids!

12)Funny description of busy old lady
I think the answer to this would be best found by watching re-runs of the Golden Girls.

13)I'm too busy for a teenager
Well isn't that just too damn bad?! What magic answer did they think they would find for this problem? The best advice I could give them would be BOOT CAMP!

I think I'm going to have to check out my StatCounter a little more often!

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